Happy Birthday Sis!!

So yesterday was my cute sisters 15th birthday. She is getting way to old and will be able to drive and date next year. I remember when she was born like it was yesterday. I was 13 and was soooo excited to have another little sister. I babied her and loved to take care of her. She has been such a blessing to our family. I am so grateful for her, and even though she is so much younger than me we have such an awesome friendship and I am really so lucky. She is the best aunty that my kids could have. They just adore her. Isn't she beautiful? She is 5'9" and towers over me, I wish I had some of that height, but no it all went to her and I am now the shrimp of the family.

Adoption Options

For awhile now we have been discussing all of our adoption choices. Sadly Vietnam adoptions are really unstable right now and there is talk that they may even close down. I truly hope that this doesn't happen. There are so many families waiting for referrals or waiting for travel to bring their little ones home and I can only imagine how frustrating and worrisome this time is for them. My heart truly goes out to those in the process right now. Please keep these fantastic families in your prayers. That being said we don't feel that it is a good idea for us to start a Vietnam adoption at this point in time. This was really hard as I had to come to truly believe that this is where we were suppose to go, but I know that the Lord will open other pathways and options for us. We have talked a lot about domestic adoption and I used to really struggle with some aspects of it. But I have been so touched by so many other families who have had positive experiences with it that I have truly felt my heart being opened to this option. When we first started looking into adoption after realizing the chances of us having another biological child were slim I was immediately drawn to China. Of course after some research we learned that you have to be 30 to adopt from there. Well I was 26 so that didn't work well. I always felt that we would adopt from China someday, but was impatient to wait that long. So we have looked into other options. Unfortunately with new jobs, house moves and the like we have not had the chance to really put any money away. We are working really hard at getting out of debt and have decided to wait until late this year or early next year to start an adoption. Next spring I will be 29 1/2 and able to start China paperwork - so this may be the route we take. I am excited at the prospect even though I know that the wait is quite long, but I have felt for some time that we would have a daughter born in China. Of course when you are in the mists of the struggle of wanting to have a baby more than anything it is hard to say okay lets just wait 4 years. Well 4 years is almost here.

I have struggled of late with the frustrations of infertility. The questions without answers. It is hard to not have any control over when you will be blessed with another sweet spirit, especially when you have had several witnesses that you in fact have a child waiting to come to your home. It has been hard to not be able to find even 1 doctor that can give you any idea what might be wrong with you. I have cried many nights of late pouring my heart out to the Lord asking for answers. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I struggle also with knowing that I have been so blessed with 2 wonderful kids and there are so many who can't even have one, so then I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, for struggling and asking why. The other night I had a good cry, I was feeling sorry for myself and Troy really helped me to see how much I do have, and yes this trial is hard but we will get through it and when we finally have our baby in our arms it will have all been worth it. It is sometimes just hard to see that when you are in the mists of it. Sunday our Relief Society lesson was on Gratitude and it couldn't have come at a better time for me. So from now on I am going to try to focus on all the wonderful blessings that I do have. A wonderful family, a devoted husband, his good job, a beautiful house and of course the gospel. I am going to continually work on my patience in this journey and look forward to next year when we can start our adoption process whether it be China or Domestic.

A New Look!!

Okay so here is our family picture from Christmas. The saying "one of these things just doesn't belong here" comes to mind. Oh yeah, that is me. Haha. For years I have had the same long curly brownish blonde hair. And everyone I meet says "oh your kids must look like your husband" So being vain and wanting people to think that these cuties actually do belong to me I changed my hair. I mean who wouldn't be jealous of all that dark beautiful hair? SO here is the new me.......


TaDa!!! Dark brown and straight. Granted getting it that straight is a lot of work. But now I look just like Tati.

Isn't she cute?? (Tati, not me) See how similar we look now? It was a lot of fun to go get pampered and make a change. I really love it and so does Troy. I may just stay brunette forever!!

The New Year

This winter has been soo cold and it has snowed a ton. Personally I am not a fan. But the kids love to get out and play in it. So because it has been so cold Utah Lake is completely frozen as in you can walk right out onto it. So that is what Troy and the kids along with the Webers and Liddiards did. I was sick and (got) had to stay home. But they had a great time. This is basically what the view from our house looks like. The lake isn't far from us at all. They had a great time.




So Tatiyana in all her 7 year old wisdom has decided that it just is not cool to have mom walk her to the bus stop. I think her words were "Mom you are embarressing me" So instead I watch from the front window until she gets on the bus. This is her walking to the bus stop on one of the cold frigid mornings. She just seems to small to go to the bus all by herself.

Now Tanner has started going to preschool 2 days a week and he is really loving it. Here he is on his first day of school. Isn't he cute? So I basically have 4 hours a week with no kids at home. Now I was waiting for this day and thought I could easily fill the time, but I am finding that I am lonely. Isn't that funny? I mostly play in the computer, sometimes if it is completely necassary I will clean, but what fun is that? So I have decided I need to find a new hobby since starting in August he will be in Kindergarten. I just can't believe how fast they grow up and aren't moms babies anymore.

Tanners 1st day of school

A Great Man!!

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the passing of our beloved prophet President Hinckley. What a wonderful man he was. I will always remember how when he spoke you felt like he was talking directly to you, his sense of humor, his testimony and the wonderful example he was to all of us. It is sad to think that he will no longer be here. He truly did so much for the church. We as members have been so blessed to be led by such a wonderful and rightous man. But even in my sadness I smile at the thought of him reuniting with his sweet wife who he adored and missed so much and know that he was welcomed into Heaven by the arms of our Savior. What a sweet and awesome reunion it must have been. My life has truly been touched by this great man and I feel so blessed to have been able to learn so much from him. His strength and testimony live on through the great members of our church.

Christmas and New Years

We had a wonderful Holiday season. Christmas Eve and morning was spent at our house with my parents and sister. The kids were spoiled and we had a great time playing Wii and games. We spent Christmas Eve with Troys family and New Years Eve there too. Troy is a self proclaimed Pyro so the evening demanded fireworks, it was freezing cold and so us women stayed inside, but the kids loved it and of course Troy did too.

We now return you to your regular scheduled life.....

Wow-it is hard to believe that it has been so long since I have blogged. Life this fall was crazy and now we are finally settling back down into normalcy. In August Troy and I began feeling that he was to start looking for another job. After months of being totally emotionally drained from all the drama at his company and truly dreading going to work everyday we felt that it was time for a change. We have always wanted to move back east and thought that this was our chance to do so, but the job market wasn't great in the areas we were looking at. We aren't ones to just not have a job so we felt like we had to stay with this company until we could find something else, but after much fasting and prayer we felt that we were suppose to just take the leap of faith and quit. So he did at the end of September. Around the same time our Landlords called to tell us that they were going to sell our house. So now we have no job and no place to live-EEK!! I was a nervous wreck. We toyed with the idea of starting our own company which has always been a dream of Troy's and made arrangements to live with some family while we got it up and running. But of course the just when you think you have a plan the Lord shows you what is the real plan. In the middle of October he went for an interview with a company that does marketing-Troy has always worked in Healthcare software so this was a new direction for him. But he received a wonderful job offer that we are so grateful for. He loves his new job and learning a new market. But there was still the dilemna of where to live. We were having a hard time finding a house that was in Tatis school boundries and were going to give it up and move to another city, when just 2 weeks before we had to move a house came on the market right in our price range in the neighborhood that we really wanted to be in. YEAH!! we were so excited and jumped on it right away. We moved in on the 1st of December and are so happy here.

We are currently discussing all our adoption options and hope to move forward in the New Year. I will post more about that later.