So lately I have been thinking about hope while going through infertility. How long before you finally say "okay this not going to happen for us"? I feel lucky that we will get to adopt because it such an amazing gift and I am so excited to be a part of it. It didn't take me long to get to this point, though it did take Troy a little bit longer. Although at the same time I find that sometimes I still think I could still get pregnant. I think this because the doctors have yet to find anything "wrong" per say. But logically I tell myself it has been 4 years of no birth control and like 4 cycles a year, so the chances are slim-but there is still the small amount of hope in me. So my question is: how long before you stopped believing there might be a chance-although slim-that you would get pregnant? Is it when you were told by drs that it wasn't going to happen or did you just come to the conclusion on your own? For me I think that I
know that getting pregnant is most likely not going to happen but since we aren't ready to start our adoption process I still have that small amount of HOPE that something will happen on its own. Having said that I can't wait to start our adoption!! It is so exciting to read other peoples stories and see the wonderful joy it has brought to their lives and I can't wait to add my own story and be apart of something so special!!! So I think that the small amount of hope that is left is more me not wanting to wait any longer for a baby. Patience has never been my strong suit and the waiting to adopt is torture for me. I am just so ready!
So those are my random thoughts on infertility. I have been quite obsessive about it, but also feel at peace with the decision to wait. So my new obsession is Facebook. K-I totally love the thing!! Troy thinks I am a big dork-but that is just cause he hasn't gotten on it yet. It is so fun!! I have connected with tons of people from school that I haven't talked to in years, I also think the applications are fun-I love to take the little random quizzes. I know I am wierd, but it is way better than Myspace. If you are on Facebook I am sure you will understand!
So now I am going to start doing a favorite photo Friday- this week I have 2 pics
This is Tanner after his St. Patricks Day party at Pre-School. They made these cutle little Leprecaun Hats and wore Green. He just looked too cute.
This next one is Sunday after church Troy and the kids made a fort with all of my cusions and blankets. They loved having Daddy play in the tent with them.
2 comments:
I ran across your blog from one of my friends Mrs. R. I just want you to know that you NEVER have to give up hope. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 7 years. We were told that we had about a 1% chance of ever getting pregnant. We adopted our first child in 2006 and in Sept. of 2007 I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant. It sounds I was much like you. My cycles are very rare, but somehow it happened. Unfortunatly we lost the baby at about 11 weeks, but this gave me hope that it can happen and I pray will happen again. But don't ever give up hope!
we don't make any sperm at r house. not one. so we pretty much gave up home september of 2006.
but if there is still a chance, even 1% like amanda said, then there is still hope. in some ways that hope makes infertility harder, but sometimes that hope can get you through.
at the same time, adoption offers hope in a differnt way, but for r house, it is just as saving.
great post.
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